Stephanie Has A Bad Day
by plumfan4ever
Summary: Short chapter story of a worse-than usual day in the life of Stephanie Plum. Mature rating for last chapter.
1. Chapter 1 Bad Morning

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to Janet Evanovich, and I'm just playing. No spoilers for any of the books. Some possible profane language and definite smut warnings apply. Thanks for editing Becky J.

**Bad Day**

**Chapter One Bad Morning**

My name is Stephanie Plum and today may be the worst day of my life. It's late August in Trenton, NJ. And for those of you who have never experienced August in Trenton, it's not a pretty picture. The ever present smog and pollution are full force, along with temperatures hovering at 99 degrees. It's an all out race today between choking on the pollution and my skin sizzling up like a McDonald's french fry.

Adding insult to the weather, my latest in a long line of cars is dead. No particular reason this time. No bombs, no falling trees, the motor just wouldn't start when I put the key in the ignition. So once again, here I sat in Big Blue. Along with the attractive feature of being a gasaholic, Big Blue does not possess air conditioning. Normally I would just go back into my apartment, and wait for a better day. Unfortunately, my rent is three weeks late, my Macy's credit card bill is due, and Rex is out of pop tarts. Like it or not, I have to go to the bonds office today, and then I have to bring in some skips.

By the time I pulled up in front of the bonds office, the back of my neck was wet. I'd had the foresight to pull my hair into a ponytail, so at least it isn't sticking out in all directions. I prayed that the air conditioning's working in the bonds office.

Connie was sitting at her desk, with a little fan buzzing away straight at her cleavage. Another fan was on the floor, oscillating hot air around the room. "What's wrong with the AC?"

"Vinnie turned it up full blast yesterday while he and Joyce were having a _**conference**_ in his office. I think they blew the compressor. Christ," Connie went on, leaning closer to her fan. "Didn't they listen to the radio? There's a freakin' warning out for the impaired to avoid stressful activity and those two are right at the top of my impaired pervert list. I called my cousin, Nickie, but _everyone _is having problems with their air conditioning in this heat, and the repair guys can't get to us until tomorrow."

"This day just keeps getting better. Is anyone skipping out on bail?"

"I've got an easy one for you. Mooner forgot his court date again. Carla DiMattei didn't show up for her court date either," replied Connie handing the files over to me.

Carla DiMattei was a year behind me in high school. She was Carla Rossi back in those days. She married Bobby DiMattei a month after graduation. Three children and countless P.T.A. meetings later, she's now a respectable Burg matron.

"Carla DeMattei? What'd she do? She was president of the Future Homemakers of America back in high school for crying out loud."

"Her baking club held a "Best Pie In Trenton" contest at the Elks Lodge. It was a fundraiser for her kids' school. The officers in the Elks Lodge sampled all of the pies, and voted on the best one. The women in the baking club auctioned off other desserts after the Elks awarded a ribbon to the best pie maker. Martha Jankowski won the contest. Carla flew into a rage, accusing Martha of stealing her chocolate cream pie recipe. Martha fired back with the comment that pouring Jell-O chocolate pudding into a piecrust wasn't much of a secret recipe. Carla picked up Martha's pie, and slammed it into Martha's face. Martha pressed charges for assault."

I thought the whole thing a bit ridiculous, but I could see Carla's point too. In the Burg, there is a definite social order based on housewifely skills. If you can't get every stain known to man out of the laundry, keep your house spotless with multiple children running underfoot, or cook the perfect meal, the other women in the Burg will think less of you. Martha is lucky she only got smacked with a pie.

"Forgetful pot head and vengeful baker. Tell Lula I'll see her later. I think I can handle these two by myself."

Connie waved goodbye. She was swiveling in her chair now, in sync with the floor fan, not wanting to miss a smidgeon of air movement. Once again, Vinnie's activities with Joyce were causing the rest of the office to suffer. I stopped for a moment, caught by a fleeting vision of why they'd cranked up the air conditioning, and then shuddered and prayed that the image wasn't permanently etched in my mind.

Hopping back into Big Blue felt like stepping into hell. Rolling the windows all the way down, I pulled away from the bonds office and hoped traffic would move fast enough to get a breeze going through the car. It wasn't lunch time yet, so I had time to pick up a skip before heading over to my parents' house. I decided to pick up Carla first. I would hate to interrupt Mooner's current television marathon.

The DiMattei clan lived in a very nicely kept row house a couple of blocks over from Joe. I pulled into the curb and stepped out of the car, dripping sweat. My tee shirt was soaking wet, and clinging to my skin. I did a quick sniff test, pleased to discover that my Secret solid was still holding odors at bay. Carla's freshly scrubbed front stoop gleamed, and a grapevine and dried flower arrangement adorned her front door. I hesitated to put my sweaty hands on the shiny door knocker, but there is no doorbell in sight.

A few minutes later, Carla opened her door. "Hey Stephanie, it's been a while. Come on in. So how are you these days?"

Carla was wearing an apron over her powder blue Bermuda shorts and sleeveless seersucker blouse. There were flour smudges on her apron, and her face was perspiring. She walked back into the kitchen with me following at her heels. An assortment of pies was center stage on her kitchen table. A rolling pin laid by a perfect circle of pie crust, apparently destined for the pie pan on the counter.

"Carla, Vincent Plum Bail Bonds posted your bail. You missed your court date. I'm here to take you to reschedule."

"Oh, that's right. Val told me at the last P.T.A. meeting that you were still doing that bounty hunter stuff and things are getting serious with Joe Morelli. I had the biggest crush on him in junior high." Carla blew out a sigh and sprinkled a tiny bit more flour on the crust. "Look, Stephanie, I need to finish these pies, and then pick the kids up from day camp this afternoon. Tomorrow I have multiple play dates for the kids. This isn't a good week at all for this court thing. Can you come back next Tuesday?"

"Carla, it doesn't work like that. When you don't show up in court, it's known as failure to appear. It's my job to find people who skip their court dates, and bring them in. You need to go with me now. I'll call Vinnie at the bonds office and have him meet us. He can bond you back out and you'll be done in time to pick up your kids."

Carla had gone from friendly to frothing by the time I finished my little speech. "You don't get it. I'm tweaking my chocolate cream pie recipe. That bitch, Martha Jankowski, stole my recipe. I should have won first place in that contest, not her. I'm not leaving my kitchen until I come up with a better pie. This time I'm memorizing the recipe. I'm not going anywhere with you!"

Okay, Carla had a case of the crazies. I hated to do this to a fellow Burg girl, but I'm hot, I'm broke, and I'm out of patience. I slipped my hand into my shoulder bag, and felt around for my stun gun. Carla was still ranting about Martha, and not paying much attention to my rummaging. I finally found my stun gun and slipped it discreetly into my hand while inching toward Carla.

"I've been baking pies every day since that Elk's catastrophe. My family has pie for dessert every night. The extras are going to the soup kitchen down on Sloane Street. I'm not quitting until I know that Martha has no chance of beating me in another contest." I snuck a little closer. "I wish I had broken her nose when I hit her with that pie." Carla picked up one of the pies off of the table while turning around. "Did you hear what happened, Stephanie? I just drew my arm back like this and let her have it…." Carla was reenacting just how she let Martha _have it. _

I was close enough to cuff her but Carla couldn't stop her momentum and … _wham._ I got a face full of chocolate cream pie. I stood there a moment, stunned. I licked some of the chocolate off around my lips. Not as good as my mom's pineapple upside down cake, but it's a good chocolate pie.

"Oh crap, I wish I hadn't done that! I think that was the best pie so far and now my husband won't get to taste it." Carla wailed. Hello? Where's my "_Gosh Stephanie, sorry I splatted you with chocolate pie" _apology?

"That's it Carla." Snap went one bracelet around her wrist. "It's hot, and now I'm all goopy. Let's get you rebonded, and then you can recreate your perfect pie."

I was reaching for her other wrist when she shoved me. I fell over backwards right into the table full of pies. Carla screamed, and started yelling, "Goopy! You think my pie is goopy?! Get the hell out of my house!"

I pulled myself to my feet, with pie dripping off my back. Yanking Carla by both arms, I got the second bracelet snapped around her wrist. "I'm leaving now, but so are you. I've had it Carla. I'm not gonna call Vinnie. You can wait to get rebonded like everyone else."

I dragged Carla out her front door, cursing me the whole way, and pushed her in the back of Big Blue. Popping open the trunk, I found a beach towel left over from my last trip to Point Pleasant. I put the beach towel over my seat, soaking up as much of the chocolate mess as I could.

I pulled up to the cop shop, and did a quick scan of the lot, looking for Joe's truck. Finally, something was going my way today. Joe's truck was not in the lot. I loved Joe's humor, but I wasn't in the mood to see it expressed over my pie covered self. I hauled Carla out of the back seat, and into the station.

Carl Constanza started laughing the minute he got a good look at me. "I never thought to bet on something like this. Smile Stephanie, while I get this with my camera phone."

I glared at Carl while I made an Italian hand gesture. "Screw you Carl. Can I get my body receipt before everyone sees this?" Glaring at Carla, I added, "This morning has been fun, but I have other skips to bring in."

"Sure thing Stephanie. And don't worry about the photo. This one's for my personal Stephanie scrapbook."

Yeah right. Carl will send it to everyone in his address book, and they will send it to their friends, and so on. I'll be lucky if my mother isn't calling me about it by the time I get back to Big Blue.

Receipt finally in my hand, I trudged back outside. Damn. Leaning against my car, muscular arms folded across his chest, stood a grinning Joe Morelli. Today he was wearing a red polo shirt that looked great with his olive skin. The shirt was tucked into faded jeans, which were molded to his rock hard thighs and delectable ass. His thick dark hair was in need of a haircut, but looked I-want-to-run-my-fingers-through-it great. Joe's whiskey-colored eyes were looking at me with a mixture of amusement and affection.

"So Cupcake, having a good day?"

"I'm having a wonderful day, Joe", in my best simpering voice, "I love getting coated in pie first thing in the day."

"Really?" Joe straightened up and moved closer. "How do you feel about getting coated in pie tonight? I promise to make sure you're nice and clean by morning."

I'm too young for hot flashes, but Joe's words spread warmth through my body rivaling the heat outside. Visions of Joe licking me clean were making my knees wobble, but I would hate him knowing that I was so easy where he is concerned. "Gee sorry Joe. I haven't had dinner at my parents in a while. I'm overdue pineapple upside down cake."

Joe moved right up to me, leaning in. He kissed me hungrily, and licked a little chocolate off my left ear lobe. Running his hands down to wrap around my waist, he murmured, "Come home to me when you're finished today. I'll get Pinos, and I'll take care of dessert. I think my brand of TLC will be better for you today than pineapple upside down cake."

Ummm…more hot flashes. This _could_ be early menopause. Damn it, it's not. It's a combination of sexy Italian stud and my Hungarian hormones. I could put my mother off another day. I knew a night of pampering from Joe would do me more good. "Okay, I'll be there. But dessert **better** be good."

Grinning, Joe replied, "Oh it will be, Cupcake. It's my own secret recipe." Another quick kiss and that excellent ass swaggered off inside the cop shop.


	2. Chapter 2 Bad Afternoon

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. All the characters in the Plum series belong to Janet Evanovich.** **I'm writing this for entertainment, not profit.**

**Stephanie Has a Bad Day**

**Chapter Two-Bad Afternoon**

It was too hot to trudge back to my apartment and change clothes. I decided Mooner wouldn't really care, or even notice that I was covered in chocolate pie, so I decided to head on over to his place. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten lunch. I wasn't in the mood to hear my mother complain that nobody else has a daughter who gets covered in pie so I pulled into the nearest McDonald's to take care of my stomach.

I chose the drive-thru since I was a mess. I would hate to run into Joyce Barnhardt and listen to her snarky comments on my appearance. Lula was better at zapping her with the stun gun than me. I pulled up to the drive-thru speaker, and give my order. Big Mac, large fries, and since it was hot and I was thirsty, a large Coke. Pulling around to the window, a pimply nervous acting teenage boy took my money and almost dropped my change. Apologizing, he said he was new and I nodded my head. Encouraged that I didn't snap his head off, he smiled and fumbled my coke through the window to me. My hand slipped, the lid flipped off and coke splashed over my shirt and soaked into my jeans.

"Oh ma'am, I'm sorry. I'll get you another coke, and some napkins. I'm so, so sorry!"

Ma'am? He called me ma'am. Who do I look like? My mother? At least the coke was cooling me off a little. I took my food, the extra napkins, a fresh coke and another round of apologies from pimple face and headed off to Mooner's. Munching the hot, salty fries calmed me down. Mooner would be easy to bring in, and then I could focus on dinner with Joe.

I pulled up in front of Mooner's and got out of Big Blue. The heat had dried the coke, and my shirt and jeans felt sticky. I knocked on the door and waited. I heard the television, but no other noises. I tried the doorknob, and the door swung open. Walking inside, I saw signs that Mooner had been home. There was a faint smell of marijuana in the air, implying a joint burned not too long ago.

I heard giggles from the kitchen. I wandered back that way and found Mooner and Dougie at the kitchen table with something that looked like a huge lump of mud. I stood there puzzled, trying to figure out what they were up to this time. Mooner looked up at that moment to give me a big goofy grin.

"Hey Dudette! Do you need any help fighting crime today? I've still got my super hero suit around here somewhere."

"Thanks Mooner but I don't need any help today." Mooner's face dropped at my answer. "I came by because you forgot to show up for court. I need to take you in to get rebonded."

"Whoa, I totally forgot about that. Can it wait until Dougie and me finish our volcano?"

I cast a dubious eye at the mud pile on the table. "Is that your volcano?"

"Yeah. We were watching a really cool Brady Bunch marathon today. They made a volcano in one show and it spewed everywhere. It was awesome. Dougie and I decided to try it ourselves."

I sighed as more sweat trickled down my head. I vaguely remembered that episode of The Brady Bunch. Lucky for Mrs. Brady that she had Alice to clean up after all the messes. Luckier for me that I won't have to clean up the mess Mooner and Dougie will have when this is over. I nodded my head at Mooner. "Go ahead and finish it Mooner. We'll go get you rebonded after your volcano blows."

Mooner and Dougie were grinning like fools while they bent over the mud pile. "It's almost ready to go. Just need to hook up the switch." The boys stepped back and Mooner held a small black box in his hands. "Okay on the count of three. One, two…and three!" Mooner and Dougie looked like two kids on Christmas morning. I looked at the "volcano". Nothing was happening. The look of anticipation faded from their eyes followed by puzzlement and disappointment.

"I don't get it. It should have worked. What a bummer." Mooner sighed and handed the box over to Dougie. "Might as well go to the station now."

I moved closer to Mooner to get a better look at the volcano. I wasn't surprised that the volcano didn't work, considering Mooner and Dougie built it in their post pot haze. I peered on the inside, trying to figure out what they used for lava.

_Whoosh!_ Suddenly I was covered in some type of red goo that smelled like tomatoes. Dougie and Mooner were yelling and high-fiving each other.

"The switch was stuck. I just pressed on it again and it worked!" Dougie was grinning while I stood there dripping red slime.

"What is this crap on me? Give me some paper towels!"

Mooner tossed a roll of paper towels my way. "We didn't have any lava, so we used tomato sauce."

In a weird way, that made sense. I wiped off all of the sauce I could find, and hauled Mooner out the door before anything else could happen.

My cell phone rang on the way to the station. I winced as I looked at the caller ID. My mother. I was tempted to not answer it, but decided the day couldn't get any worse so I might as well get this over with too. "Hi Mom, what's up?"

"Stephanie, this is your mother". No kidding, score another point for modern technology. "What is this about you dragging that sweet Carla DiMattei out of her house? My phone has been ringing all afternoon." Mom released a big dramatic sigh. "I don't know where I failed with you. I'm sure I taught you girls better manners than that. Carla and Val are on the same PTA committee for the fall carnival. How is Val going to feel after what you did today? "

Seething with righteous indignation I sputtered "Val? How is Val going to feel? How do you think _I_ feel after _sweet_ Carla hit me in the face with a chocolate pie and then shoved me into a table full of pies? I was at Carla's because she skipped her court date. She assaulted Martha Jankowski. Remember? She's crazy. She kept ranting about her chocolate pie recipe, and got violent when I tried to nicely take her in to reschedule. I'm hot, tired and covered in chocolate. Val will just have to suck it up."

"She hit you with a chocolate pie? Did you taste it?"

"Yeah, I licked a little off of my lip. It was okay. Yours is better." Okay, I could almost see my mother smiling into the phone, and pulling her shoulders back knowing that she could out bake Carla any day. Take that Val. You're really too old to be tattling to mom anyway.

"Well, all right then. I'll talk to Val. She really should be able to handle situations like this at her age." I grinned smugly at the lecture I imagined our mother would give Val. Mom continued, "We're having pork chops for dinner tonight. Are you coming over with Joseph?"

"No. Joe said he would take care of dinner tonight. I'm too tired to deal with Grandma after today." I'm too tired to deal with my mother too, but I'm smart enough to leave that out. I managed to end the conversation after promising I would be by for lunch sometime soon and give her the low down on Carla's baking skills. Mooner had slept through the entire conversation, so I had even kept mom from finding out about the lava eruption. The longer I could put off that conversation, the longer I could go without eye twitches.

This time I managed to leave the police station without running into Joe. I was sure that the new photos of lava-covered-me on Carl Constanza's cell phone would make their way to him in record time though. I groaned thinking about the comments from everyone I knew once they saw the evidence of my recent bounty hunting skills. I hoped my father appreciated the toilet paper my mother undoubtedly ironed when she heard the latest news. I just hoped she left the starch out this time.


	3. Chapter 3 Great Evening

Chapter Three-Great Evening

I had time for a quick shower at my apartment before going over to Joe's house. My dignity had suffered enough abuse today without showing up on his doorstep covered in slime. With my luck, Mrs. Morelli and Grandma Bella would pull up at the same time I did. Joe swears his mother likes me, and I preferred to keep it that way.

As usual, the only parking space in the lot was next to the dumpster, with huge black flies buzzing around. The heat made the smells emanating from the dumpster worse than normal. I live in an apartment building with a lot of senior citizens, and I'm sure that dumpster is holding lots of bags of used Depends. No wonder the flies are so happy. I held my nose and headed for the door.

Thankfully the elevator was working and Mrs. Bestler wasn't playing operator. I hustled into my apartment and crossed to the kitchen to check on Rex. I found a few frosted flakes still in the box and added them to his bowl. Rex backed out of his can butt first, twitched his whiskers, and gave me what looked like a smirk. I sighed. Even my hamster was amused over my mess.

I dropped my clothes on the bathroom floor. I wasn't sure if I should wash them or trash them. I lathered my hair up twice, making sure all traces of chocolate and tomato sauce disappeared down the drain. I slathered my hair with a deep conditioning treatment, letting it work its magic while I finished scrubbing.

I felt better after my shower. I grabbed a pair of tan shorts and a stretchy blue tee shirt. Pawing through my lingerie drawer, I decided to wear my new Victoria's Secret matching baby blue silk push up bra and bikini set. After the day I had been through, I needed to treat myself to silk and some cleavage. To celebrate being slime free, I sprayed a little Dolce Vita on my wrists and other strategic places. Slipping on my sandals, I headed back to the bathroom. I unsnarled my hair and rubbed some hair gel through my curls. After a few swipes of mascara and some lip gloss I decided I was ready for dinner with Joe.

Heading back through the kitchen, I tapped Rex's cage and told him to be a good boy and that if Joe was a very good boy, I wouldn't be back to the apartment until later tomorrow, so he shouldn't worry. Now that's a thought to put a smile on a girl's face.

Joe and Bob, his loveable big, goofy-looking golden retriever mix, were sitting on Joe's front stoop when I pulled up. Joe had a beer in his hand, and Bob had a well slobbered tennis ball in his mouth. The boys had been playing catch. It looked like they were both happy to see me. They came off the stoop and met me before I made it to the house. Joe enclosed me in a hug while Bob danced around woofing and shook his entire body enthusiastically.

With his arm around my shoulders, Joe led me up his front steps, snagging Bob's leash on the way. "Rumor has it that your day didn't get any better after I saw you this morning."

"This has been one of my worst days for bounty hunting. I had to wash my hair twice to get all the stuff out, and some kid at a drive-through called me ma'am."

"Now, that is horrible. Did I ever tell you that mature women really turn me on?" Joe finished his teasing with a pinch to my butt.

"Too bad for you that I'm not that mature." Oops, that didn't come out right. Joe's chuckles echoed in the living room. Bob jumped up on the couch with a hopeful look on his face. I wasn't sure what he was hoping for, but I crossed on into the kitchen with Joe, saying a silent prayer that dinner didn't involve marinara sauce.

Joe had put a tablecloth on his little kitchen table and was lighting candles when I caught up with him. Huh, I never knew he had a tablecloth. "What's the deal with the candles and the tablecloth?"

"You had a rough day. I decided you deserved special treatment tonight. I'm even using real plates, instead of paper." He winked at me while he delivered the last comment.

"Nice." Finally something to smile about today. "So what's for dinner?"

"Well, both of our moms called me to let me know what kind of day you had." I winced, imagining what Angie Morelli had to say. I already knew what my mother had said. Ignoring my wince Joe continued, "Both of them invited us to eat with them tonight. But, I told them both that we needed a quiet evening with just the two of us. So my mom dropped off some homemade Fettuccine Alfredo and fresh baked Focaccia bread." I felt drool pooling in my mouth. "Your mom dropped by with dessert. Grandma Mazur was with her. Grandma hugged me when she left, and she slipped something in my pocket."

Joe's face had a big grin on it, so I knew Grandma had slipped something bad in his pocket. "I'm almost scared to ask. What did Grandma leave you?"

"Somehow, your grandmother got to Pleasure Treasures." Joe said shaking his head. "She left us a bottle of strawberry flavored edible massage oil. I picked up a bottle of white wine to go with the pasta. I'm not sure how white wine will go with strawberry oil. I guess we'll find out later." Joe was in full tease mode.

I shuddered, thinking of worse things that Grandma could have gotten us from Pleasure Treasures. It's a weird day when you're thankful that your Grandma only slipped your boyfriend edible massage oil.

Dinner was fantastic. Angie Morelli's Fettuccine Alfredo was every bit as good as Rossini's. I sopped up all the sauce with the homemade bread, and unbuttoned my shorts so the pasta would have room. Joe and I talked about his day, and I related my escapades, complete with tomato sauce and chocolate filling, in bringing in the day's skips. We cleaned up the dishes together, working in a comfortable rhythm.

Joe folded the dishtowel, and put it on the counter. Crossing over to me with a distinctly lecherous grin on his face, he kept coming until I was backed against the kitchen wall. "Dessert is upstairs. I thought it might come in handy later on. I have a feeling you'll need a midnight snack to keep your strength up. I have the day off tomorrow, and plan to keep you very busy tonight." Joe's hands were stroking my arms and shoulders, skimming down to my waist as he made his intentions for the night's activities known.

"You don't want to watch a little TV first?"

"No." He lightly licked a path up my neck to my ear and I shivered.

"It's been a long day. You sure you can handle an all-nighter?" Two could play the teasing game.

Joe pressed his hard body against mine and palmed my butt. "Cupcake, don't you ever doubt it. And I've had all day to think about this."

Hmmm….I made enough money today that I could pay my most pressing bills. I could sleep in tomorrow with Joe and take my body receipts by the office tomorrow afternoon. "I like the sound of that. So just what exactly have you been thinking of doing?"

Joe's hands moved in slow, sensual strokes up and down my body. His lips touched my forehead, my nose, my chin, and moved firmly over my lips in an erotic kiss that left me weak with anticipation of further delights. Moving away from my lips, he trailed kisses down my collarbone, then back up my neck to my ear. Circling my ear with his tongue, he nipped my lobe and in a husky growl asked me, "So are you in the mood for fast, slow, or both?"

I shivered and my nipples went on full alert. In a dazed voice I answered "Fast, slow, then fast and slow...please". Joe's eyes darkened and with one last skim of his hands across my back, he bent his knees, and lifted me up in his arms. Placing another passionate, devouring kiss on my lips, he turned and headed for the stairs. He cradled me in his arms like I was the most precious thing in the world.

"Whatever you want, Cupcake. As often as you want."


	4. Chapter 4 Good Night

Chapter Four-And a Very Good Night

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I'm just borrowing them-she won't let me keep Joe!

Chapter Four-And a Very Good Night!

Joe carried me up the stairs and into his room, kicking the door shut before Bob could follow us in. He lowered my legs until I stood by the bed, but kept one arm around my waist while he turned the light on with the other. "I want to see you while I undress you, Stephanie. I want to see the look in your eyes while I make love to you."

My knees started shaking when I saw the look of desire in Joe's sexy brown eyes and I faintly nodded. Joe pulled me in for another kiss, cradling the back of my head in his strong hands. His lips moved lower, licking my neck, placing playful nips at the tender spot where my neck and shoulder met. He knows where all my buttons are and that particular button never fails to make me squirm. Warmth rushed south through my body. His head dipped lower, and he nuzzled my nipples through my tee shirt, taking more little nips.

Then his hands were on my waist, warm against my bare skin as he slowly pulled my tee shirt over my head and tossed it on the bureau. He lightly traced his fingers over my silky new bra.

"Pretty. Is it new?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"What's inside is even prettier though". His lips continued tracing a path down my stomach, pausing to lick my belly button. I was well acquainted with that talented tongue and the delights it could give and as memories swirled in my head, the heat inside my body was intensifying into an inferno.

Joe slowly unzipped my shorts and pulled them down to a puddle at my ankles. He crouched down, licking his way down one calf to my ankle. He propped my foot on his leg while I tangled my fingers in his hair. Caressing my foot, he slipped my sandal off and lifted my leg to place a tender kiss on my arch, sending shivers everywhere. He followed the same path on my other leg, then, oh so slowly, kissed his way back up my legs, until he met the juncture of my hip.

His powerful hands palmed my butt while that amazing tongue flicked over _that_ spot. Pleasure washed over me while an aching need built inside me. Joe slid his hands around my hips, and inched my silk panties down my legs. With the silk barrier gone, his tongue teased me into a frenzy of need.

I pulled his hair while gasping, "I think I said _fast_first. This isn't fast, it's torture."

A finger slid inside me, expertly finding just the right spot to make me moan and consider throwing him down on the floor. "You want me to stop?"

"Yes. Stop teasing me. Please. I'm going crazy here." Joe stood back up and I grabbed his shirt, yanking it over his head and attacking the button on his jeans. I caressed him, hard beneath the denim, as I slid the zipper down, link by link.

Joe groaned deep in his throat, quickly shed his jeans and backed me onto the bed. "I didn't think I was teasing," Joe said as he licked a circle around my right breast. "I thought I was showing my appreciation."

Joe eased back to his knees and lifted my legs onto his shoulders. He slid into me with one solid thrust, causing me to gasp and claw at the sheets. He leaned forward and kissed me, his tongue plunging into my mouth in perfect sync with his body entering mine. I curled my arms around his neck. My legs slid down around his waist and I raised my body up to join his rhythmic thrusts.

Joe's hands stroked my breasts, and rubbed my nipples, which sparked another flash of heat through my body. His mouth left mine and kissed down my neck. His tongue licked the hollow at my throat, and then his lips again moved to the dip where my shoulder and neck met. He lightly bit that spot, while at the same time he pushed deeper inside me. The dual sensations pushed me over the edge, and I came screaming while I clawed his back.

After a short while, my breathing was almost back to normal. Joe was on his side behind my back, stroking his hands down my body. He lifted my hair and kissed the nape of my neck. I felt my body stirring with renewed interest, but my stomach started rumbling, which made Joe chuckle.

"Sounds like you're ready for dessert, Cupcake."

"I need to keep up my strength if I'm going to keep up with you. What did Mom bring over?"

Joe stretched behind me, patted my butt, and rolled off the bed. I flipped to my back so I could watch_ his_ naked butt move over to the bureau; a view I can never resist. Licking my lips, I thought maybe I wasn't so hungry after all. At least not for dessert.

But then Joe returned to the bed and handed me a covered plate. I peeled the plastic wrap off the plate and moaned. Mom had made her special fudge brownies with cream cheese frosting. I grabbed one and stuffed about half of it in my mouth. Joe sat on the edge of the bed facing me and picked up a brownie. I eyeballed the remaining brownies and decided it was okay if he had one. Joe grinned and bit into his brownie. "Don't worry Stephanie; you can have the rest. You might want to pace yourself though. Save a few for later. You'll need to keep your energy up all night."

I scooped some frosting off another brownie while Joe watched, his sexy grin still in place. I slowly sucked the frosting off my finger, while I imagined I was doing the same to Joe's gorgeous cock. Joe's eyes darkened to the color of chocolate as I inserted my finger into my mouth, and then slowly removed it with a loud pop. My food play had eradicated the grin from his face, replaced now with a hungry look. All his attention centered on my mouth and hand, and I grinned because I knew he wasn't hungry for more brownies.

"Ummm, that was good", I purred. "Except now I'm thirsty."

"I'll go get the rest of the wine. Promise me you won't eat any more frosting until I get back." Urgency looks good on Joe, I thought.

Joe leaned over and gave me a hungry kiss, then hurried out of the room. I grinned, thinking that while today hadn't been the best day of my life, tonight was shaping up as damn memorable for all the right reasons.

In no time at all, Joe was back with the wine, glasses, a couple bottles of water, and Grandma Mazur's gift. I cocked an eyebrow at him. I had almost forgotten about the edible oil, but trust Joe not to forget anything that might make bedtime more of an adventure. After placing his loot on the nightstand, he poured two glasses of wine and handed one to me. "Here you go, Cupcake. I brought some water up too. I can't have you getting dehydrated on me. I promised Grandma that I would take very good care of you tonight."

I rolled my eyes at him while taking my glass. Joe sat on the side of the bed next to the nightstand while I scooted over a little to give him some more room. He fluffed up the pillows and got comfortable, draping one arm around me while he sipped his wine. I snuggled against him and lightly ran my hand up and down his leg while I drank my wine. I let my hand wander closer to the juncture of his thighs, and Joe let his arm around my shoulders slide down so he could stroke my breast. My nipples tightened and muscles I had no control over contracted in response.

Since Joe had upped the stakes in our touching game, I decided to seize the opportunity-and him. My hand slid over his thighs to lightly stroke his cock, which was rapidly stirring to attention. I ran my hand down to the base, then slowly rubbed back up to the tip, teasing the slit which already had a glisten of moisture. Joe moaned low, but continued caressing my breast and playing with my hardened nipple. I let out a little sigh, but continued my strokes on one of my favorite parts of Joe's anatomy.

Joe leaned away to place his glass on the nightstand, shifting his body so he could give me a hot blooded kiss. After a few intense moments, I broke the kiss long enough to drain my glass, then handed it and the brownies to Joe. He set everything down, and returned to kissing me senseless. His talented fingers stroked all over my body, leaving a tingling sensation in their path. Joe was first to break this kiss, running his hands through my hair.

"Are you ready to _go slow_ now?"

"I think I can manage slow. I'll let you know if I change my mind".

With a grin that was followed by a kiss to my forehead he whispered, "Stretch out on your stomach and get comfortable, Cupcake. I think you need a massage". Joe followed his request with another nibble down the side of my neck. I eagerly moved down the bed, positioning the pillow under my head. Joe gave amazing massages. They relaxed me, at the same time making me eager for another type of _touch_.

Straddling my body, Joe leaned over and brushed my hair away from my back. I heard the cap on the oil bottle click open, then felt the silky oil drip onto my back. Joe's warm hands rubbed the oil into my shoulders and neck. I groaned my approval, then gasped when he kissed, licked and nipped all the areas he'd just rubbed to perfection.

"Hmmm….this tastes pretty good. Keep the brownies, Steph. I've found my dessert."

More oil was dribbled down my spine, followed by nimble fingers stroking and massaging me into a puddle of mindless goo. His gifted tongue stroked a parallel line down my spine, making my insides tighten up once again. He rubbed more oil into my butt, then licked and nipped at me until I squirmed at the sensations. The sensual torture continued down my legs, and when he found _that _spot on my instep, I almost came from the feeling.

"Time to flip over so I can massage your front, Steph" he said, while nibbling on my toes. I gathered what little strength I had left and slowly turned over, stretching while I turned and arching my back while settling against my pillow. I looked at Joe through my lashes, and caught his eyes glued to my breasts. I may not be the best endowed woman in that department, but the look in Joe's eyes made me feel like I was perfection.

Joe started at my feet, caressing each toe while rubbing in the oil. His hands slid slowly up my calves, making me squirm from the sensual feel of his strokes. He lifted one foot and took his time laving each toe with his tongue. Normally I'm ticklish, but the sensation of his tongue left me gasping instead of laughing. After giving my other foot the same treatment, he decided to move his massage further up my body. More oil dripped onto my thighs, followed by firm rubs that went all the way up, stopping before he reached the apex at my thighs.

Kissing the inner juncture of my thighs, Joe looked up to see the expectant look on my face. "Since you ordered _slow_ this time, I think I'll come back to this spot later." I made a face and something close to a growl came out of my throat.

Chuckling, Joe painted my stomach and breasts with the oil, paying special attention to my belly button. Caressing my breasts, he smoothed the oil into my nipples until they pebbled and stuck out tautly from my body. Dipping his head, he suckled and swirled his tongue over the tight peaks. He lightly bit down on one, then the other, nipple. I moaned and tugged on his silky thick hair, letting him know I approved of his actions.

Kissing his way down my stomach, he stopped back at my belly button, flicking his tongue in and around it. My stomach fluttered in anticipation, while he reached up to once again rub my breasts. Moving his head down, Joe settled between my legs and focused his attention on my center. His fingertips lightly stroked my outer lips, then his tongue traced the same path. After his tongue lightly flicked my button, he settled down to driving me completely out of my mind.

Joe licked and sucked on my core with the same intensity he gave to all parts of his life. He alternated teasing me with his fingers with instinctively backing down just before I came. He kept this routine going until I was whimpering for mercy, then thankfully crooked his fingers inside me rubbing _that_ spot until I came shouting and shuddering in an intense orgasm that made me black out for a moment.

Joe moved up beside me, taking me in his arms and kissing and stroking me. Rolling over on his back, he urged me up until I was straddling him. "I know you love being on top. I hope you're ready to go fast, because I'm not sure how much more I can take."

Leaning over, I kissed him while guiding him into my body. Sitting straight up, I squeezed my muscles together and had the satisfaction of hearing _his_ groan. "Don't worry Joe," I said in a voice only slightly hoarse from my shouting, "I wouldn't _dream_ of teasing you the same way you did me." I don't think the wicked smile on my face lent weight to my words, but I didn't think he would mind in the end.

"Well if you kill me Cupcake, at least I'll die a very happy man." His last words came out as a gasp while I moved up and down, clenching and releasing my muscles for our mutual pleasure.

His hands moved down my back, softly rubbing my skin. I straightened back up, and he caressed my breasts while I undulated on top of him. I leaned down for another scorching kiss, not sure how long I could keep going before another orgasm swept down on me.

Reaching between our bodies, Joe stroked my nub and I knew it was all over. I clenched him hard while pleasure exploded from my center, traveling throughout my body. His hands gripped my hips while he took control, thrusting under me. My mind thought it was too soon, but my body didn't, and I came again while Joe released himself into me.

Panting and trembling with aftershocks, I lay boneless across his chest. Joe wrapped one arm around me, while playing with my curls. We lay like that for several minutes, content to cuddle. I finally moved over, still snuggled up to his side. Murmuring that he would be back in a moment, Joe left the room. I heard water running in the bathroom, then he was back with a warm washcloth and towel. Saying thanks, I reached for the washcloth, but he shook his head.

"I said I would take care of you tonight, Steph. Let me do this for you."

Blushing, I nodded my head while Joe cleaned up the traces of our passion. Dropping the towel and washcloth on the floor, he climbed back into bed. He gathered me back into his arms for another kiss. I dropped my head onto his shoulder, and let out a small yawn.

"I guess we have a little time for a nap, but don't think that we're finished, Cupcake. I promised you a wonderful night, and we can always sleep in tomorrow."

Tomorrow I might have problems walking, but smiling wouldn't be a problem. "That's a promise I'm looking forward to helping you keep, Joe." I yawned again and settled down for my nap.


End file.
